Choices

So, I have made my choice. For now I stay and hope that things can be rebuilt, but of course there are lots of doubts and the pain will last forever.

However, I have my beautiful girls. Mia my eldest is my joy and my life. She is amazing, and beautiful and eloquent and innocent to how mean the World can be. This is why I choose to stay.

My youngest Ella is equally gorgeous, and she deserves the best in life. This is why I choose to stay.

Is it best for me, that I don't know yet. Can things be rebuilt, I am not sure, am I being foolish or wise? Who knows. Every day when I get up and before the girls get up, I cry. Every day. Things will get better, that I trust in. If I don't have that trust what do I have?

Betrayal

So, yesterday I discovered something bad, really bad and now I have to make a decision which will define the rest of my life and my children's lives, so the question is this, do you do what is best for the children or what is best for yourself?

If you have the answer to this, please let me know, because right now I am struggling to decide. Part of me has already made the decision but am too scared to go through with it, does that make me pathetic or a good mother?